Ever since I began working at Adventures in Missions, life has been full of amazing moments. I've seen hundreds of people launched onto the mission field, I've been invested in as a writer, I've gone spoke at this Training Camp, taken pictures at that Training Camp, and the list goes on. There have been many moments where I've thought, "This is amazing, is this seriously my life?!" But to be honest, because I love it so much, I haven't stopped. Really at all. And two nights ago, I broke.
Those of you that have followed my story remember my lovely teammate Samantha Lou Owens. Yesterday was her birthday, and the night before I stayed up to bake her a cake. I made it from scratch, dyed everything hot pink, and was really excited. It's been a little bit of a rough and busy week, but to me this was fun. Then it happened. The cake broke apart. I hadn't waited for it to cool long enough. I felt a couple tears welling up, but there were still people around, and I wasn't about to cry over a silly cake. We tell stories of child trafficking desperate need. I was not. about to cry. Over a hot pink cake. So I pieced it back together and tried my best to smother the cracks with hot pink icing.
To cover the broken places with something pretty. Sound like a metaphor? Yeah. Cause It is.
But the cake was breaking off as I spread the icing. Long story short, I ended up with cake on the kitchen floor, hot pink icing in my hair, and a garbage can full of hot pink.
And then I sat. On the kitchen floor. And cried. And not a cute little cry. It was the ugly cry.
I called my Dad, and he had no idea what I was saying because I could barely get words out.
And then I called Sam, and I said something along the lines of,
"S-a-a-a-a-a-m. M. m. m. I tri-i-i-ed to b-a-a-a-ke you a c-a-a-a-a-ke. And it…. and it…. bro-o-o-o-ke."
Eventually, the sobbing turned into laughter. The world wasn't over after all.
But that was a wake up call. If you end up sobbing on the floor of a kitchen, alone, at midnight, covered in hot pink icing, something else is probably going on.
For me, I was just too dang busy.
Fast forward 36 hours. Today, against my wishes, I am home from work. I am not writing my social media plan for Adventures. I am not at the Thursday Marketing Brainstorm. I am not meeting with people about leading trips overseas. I am not learning how to do an Admissions Interview.
I'm home, with an awful stomach ache (prayerfully not the flu), eating rice and watching Netflix.
I'm stopping. Because I've made myself sick.
Because being busy is not glorifying to God.
Are you hearing this?
Being busy is not glorifying to God.
Working hard? Absolutely glorifying.
Not being lazy? Absolutely glorifying.
Doing things that matter? Yep.
Sacrificing comfort for the Kingdom? You betcha.
Busy? Absolutely not.
I'm realizing more and more that most ministries fail or end because of burnout.
Burnout.
Last time I checked, God didn't say "work hard until you get so sick that you die and someone else has to take over serving me."
He did say that there is a cost to following Him and we will have trouble in this world, but He didn't say to kill ourselves.
He incorporated rest into His example to us, as well as His provision for us.
So I don't think that means major life change. I don't think it means I march into the Marketing Department and say, "Excuse me, but God told me I can only write one assignment a week so that I can sit home at watch Netflix."
Absolutely not.
But maybe, just maybe, cutting down the busyness by, say 10-20%.
Maybe, just maybe, giving first fruits of my time to Jesus and then rest.
Absolutely, oh absolutely, getting enough sleep and nutrients.
Because I love what I do. I love where I work. I love the upcoming opportunities to serve overseas.
I love the stories I tell. And I love the story I live.
But no one would want to read a story about some overworked 20-something that dies at an early age, sick and tired, because she didn't stop to sit in a coffee shop or go on a hike.
So, here's to stopping the glorification of busy.
Here's to working hard and resting hard.
Here's to staying healthy so that we CAN further the kingdom of God.
Who's with me?
