At Training Camp they tell you that The World Race will wreck you.
There’s a link on every one of our blogs to a website called Wrecked For The Ordinary.
I have squadmates moving to Thailand, Peru, Bolivia, Mozambique, and Swaziland.
And then there’s me. Moving back to New Jersey, and then to my college town.
I thought I’d be so wrecked that I’d never want to touch a computer or car again, that I’d never want a house, and that I’d be some hippie missionary running the streets barefoot in Bangladesh with orphans.
Lately, to be honest, I’ve wondered if God has really wrecked me.
Because the reality is, what I feel called to do requires that car, computer, and decent home. I will always be involved overseas, but my life, at least in the foreseeable future, will be in University aged America, not dirt roads in obscure countries.
Sure didn’t see that one coming.
But this week, God has showed up. I think He was trying to talk to me, and I just wasn’t listening. I was too busy being gloomy about how I don’t even know if I’ve changed this year. This could have easily been said to me at any point earlier this week:
(attractive, Stephanie, real attractive.)
Anyway, as many of you know, He knocked me on my butt so that He could get some alone time with me. I was supposed to spend my last four days of ministry on the Race living at a camp with a couple hundred kids, doing dramas, teaching Scripture and getting zero sleep. But on the first day there, I took a really hard fall, and ended up in the hospital. While my elbow is not fractured, until today I couldn’t move it at all, and now I can move it just enough to type this blog (praise God.) But I’ve spent two days now, in bed, resting my arm on a pillow, with nothing to do but hang out with Jesus (and the occasional Skype call or movie). And honestly? It’s been such a blessing.
Because God has showed me that He HAS wrecked me. Instead of me ministering to a bunch of kids, God ministered to me.
He’s wrecked my expectations for myself. See: Grace for the Good Girl.
He’s wrecked me from believing I could control my own life.
He’s wrecked me from ordinary, meaningless, non life-speaking friendships.
He’s wrecked my romanticized dreams of living overseas.
He’s wrecked me for over-churched, over-theologized, Bible college kids, who need more Jesus in their lives.
He’s wrecked my idea that I could be that Jesus to them without full reliance on Him.
He’s wrecked my self-righteous attitude towards Christians and the church, and given me the desire to show “grace upon grace.”
He’s wrecked me for my family.
He’s wrecked me for my home church.
He’s wrecked me for the Jersey Shore.
He’s wrecked me for Philadelphia.
He’s wrecked me for Eastern Pennsylvania.
He’s wrecked me for the women in my life. My sisters.
He has wrecked me for the ordinary. Because even if on the outside, God has called me to a more “ordinary” lifestyle than African orphanages and Bangladeshi dirt roads, I will not allow my life to be ordinary. Or mundane. Or the way it used to be.
I’m free from fear. From people pleasing. From Satan’s lies.
I’ve been wrecked for freedom.
I’ve been wrecked for God’s will for my life over my own.
I’ve been wrecked for the ordinary.
If you want to find out more about the super cool ministry God has put on my heart for the next season of my life, or want to partner with me in it, I’d love to have a coffee date upon my return. I am so excited about what He’s up to.
To read the Wrecked For The Ordinary Manifesto, written by Jeff Goins, click here:
http://changethis.com/manifesto/download/68.04.MisfitManifesto
Sue Mac ( or Square, as I know her) has most eloquently stated what we all feel about everything you have shared with us… Best (non) book I ever read! I don’ t drink coffee myself but love Starbucks tea, etc. so I would love to buy one for you when you get back. Still praying, get well and get home safe!
Love and more blessings,
Sue
Steph,
The Millers want to hear all about it – the past year and what lies ahead. We’ll schedule something when you get back (lunch, with Sally treats!). So sorry to hear about your injury, but I guess that was a God-sighting, right? STILL praying for you – get home soon, safe and sound!
The Millers
Prov. 3: 5,6
Hi Steph,
No matter what happens to you, or what gets you down for the moment, it seems God whispers in your ear, gives you a big hug, and say’s “it’s OK, just part of my plan,,,look deeper than the circumstances”. Thank you for opening your heart and ears to His continued message to you of love, mercy, grace, and the peace that goes beyond understanding. See you in 10 days in Philadelphia. Can’t wait!!!
Love, Dad
The circumatances are the distraction! God IS there at your side. I think there is a HUGE misconception about mission work; that you have to be deprived of everything and live in squalor with NO conveniences and WALK everywhere even if it’s 25 miles away with a 100 pound load of firewood on your head. His mission work is anywhere he calls you, whether it’s in a castle or a slum. God has used you BIG TIME this year to a group in Trinity to help us learn that God does not leave you or forsake you and that when the chips are down, he’s right there to carry you. AND the GREAT thing about when you get wrecked, BOY can he ever repair….he actually rebuilds WITH HIMSELF!! You are so fortunate at your age to learn these things now instead of when you are about 1,000,000,000 years old (that’s how I feel today!). Your year has been the best Christian book I have ever read, because I know it’s an actual ‘work in progress’ and I’ve been able to read and see that progress! I’m sorry about your arm, what a drag and sometimes it hurts less and heals faster when it IS fractured!! Take it from the ‘Great Klutz of the Universe’, been there!! Just get back safely…we’re still prayin’ for ya!
Love ya, Susan
Hi Stephanie!
In Costa Rica – God wanted to talk to me but I was running around trying to please everyone I wasn’t listening to the only one that matter – GOD. I had to fall and sprained my ankle so I can stop running around and listen.
Isn’t it great to be loved by GOD!
I am pretty sure the mission team and the congregation here at Trinity would love to have you come and talk to us
Peace to you and your team mates!
Love,
Helene
Hi Stephanie, Glad to hear it is not that bad. It sounds like you needed some down time….get it!!! After a year of spreading the word of God and all the love around the world, a few days of relaxation will do you good…and it sounds like it already has. You have already accomplished a greater feat than most people can in a lifetime. Enjoy your remainig days at a slightly slower pace. You owe it to your self to reflect and listen. They say the Lord wispers in the wind. I say speak louder becouse I must not hear so well. Patience, you have your hole life to enjoy what you have learned and shared. Safe travels home. Everyone is waiting for you. Love You, Uncle Joe & Aunt Andrea.
Dear Stephanie,
I was so sorry to hear about your recent fall and the pain you were in; but the Lord certainly does get our attention through pain and forced rest. And, you have kept your heart and mind open to hear and learn from Him through each trial and circumstance that He has allowed. It seems that whenever we start focusing more on ourselves and how we’re “feeling,” God does or allows what’s necessary to re-direct our focus and dependence on Him — where it should always be — but we’re just so human and prone to acting in the flesh. “Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand” is a great quote! Really sums it up.
I’m definitely looking forward to my coffee date with you and hearing more about being “wrecked for the ordinary.” In the meantime, I’m praying for healing from your injury and your safe return home — only a few days away! And I pray that when you have days when your “bowl of sunshine” has been eaten, you will remember that you have helped fulfill the Great Commission; and “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined.” (Isaiah 9-2) You were that light on the World Race — you brought bowls of sonshine to so many — and you have been a light and bowl of sonshine for me and all those who chose to journey with you through your blogs.
With love,
Angela
It is so wonderful to hear that God has a special plan for you right here in the USA – life is never a bore when God is in control- I am looking forward to hearing you share with Trinity – You are very loved here at home – I and everyone ar amazed at all God has done through these months with and for you. This is only the beginning for you – I know – how exciting!
Love,
Marjorie Kinning
Love it.
Also saw you’re from the Philly area. Me too. Say hi to it for me. It’ll be a few more months for me.
Justin E Squad
Dearest Stephany! Since you have been on THE RACE, God and I have met together on your behalf in prayer every day ( well maybe we (no, I… God NEVER missed) missed 2 or 3 days in the 11 months!) about 7:20AM. It has been so much fun to read your blog and then imagine you living and having your being right in the situation you have described! You have AMAZED me! You are a gifted writer! You have allowed God to teach you much! You have been honest and transparant! You have allowed God to use you! You have made a difference! You have allowed God to make of you an overcomer! You have allowed us to see God work in and through you! You have been and are an inspiration! AMAZING!
To God be all the GLORY! I am imagining the difficulty you and your Race mates are having… saying “Fair-well” dear Team Mates! Imagining still and praying still, until you are home and I see you face to face and enjoy your warm embrace! Travel fearlessly, dearest Stephany…see you very soon!
Dear Steph,
Talk about the ordinary…..my seemingly useless talents of gardening and LOVE of God’s creation…the flowers, the birds, the butterflies, the wind, the rain …are SO part of who He made me. Not to forget, the JOY of His wonderful presence when I am out there tending His gardens. Which I seem to be doing full-time these days, between Trinity and friends (and even sometimes my own garden). I jokingly tell everyone that He is simply preparing me for my job in Heaven (where flowers will be unimaginably beautiful and there will be NO WEEDS!) And I constantly tell your dad that God and I have a great partnership going: He creates the flowers, I plant them; He waters and feeds them, I weed them; and when the blooming is to His glory, He tells me to go and freely pick them! Now that is MY ABBA that I experience as I am covered in dirt and sweating and sometimes afterward, back aching. But oh how I enjoy the work He sets before me.
So thanks for affirming for me that ordinary is oftentimes right where God wants us to be. So for me, I would love to have coffee with you – but…..I’ll probably be out digging in the dirt somewhere and I would love YOU to meet me and I can show you the ordinary world I know and love…..and So MUCH MORE so since ‘travelling with you these past 11 months.
I cannot wait to smile and hug on you and maybe get you to sign my copy of your book —oh that’s right, your book is still in blogs and just waiting to be put into print. WE ALL want you to sign our copy of your book.
We love you and continue to pray for your healing and safe return to ‘ordinary NJ’!!! AMEN.
BLESSINGS & LOVE…iris