Vulnerability moment: raising support can be really discouraging. Sometimes I forget to keep my eyes on Jesus and just keep hitting refresh on a spreadsheet that continues to sit at a much lower percentage than makes me feel comfortable. I think about the moving truck costs and the fact that I haven’t yet found a place to live, I think about the gap between health insurances and the four doctors appointments next week, I think about the lack. I admit it. I think about the lack. I have to fight to keep my eyes on Jesus.

And I’m so excited to repost this to my story months from now with a “LOOK AT HOW HE PROVIDED” caption and celebratory gif. I know He will. But can we just be honest in the meantime? We have to fight to keep our eyes on Jesus.

Honestly, it’s why I do photography. We can keep strolling along with our head down, or we can intentionally look. We can purposefully notice. “Hey look at those birds, remember that verse about the raven?” Or “Wow, look at that little flower pushing up through concrete.”

To me, photography is not just storytelling, it’s also mindfulness. Meditation even. Keeping my eyes set on something. Adjusting my focus. Making blurry things clear again. Zooming in on what matters. So I can stare at these dang spreadsheets or I can stare at Jesus. I can fixate on percentages or I can fixate on the fact that my Shepherd is good. I can focus on lack, or I can focus on the birds that are taken care of by a good King.

So just like that moment in any shoot where I say, “Hang on, lemme switch lenses quick,” I say this to myself gently this morning, “Hang on, Steph, switch lenses quick.” God is not a God of lack. He keeps His promises. He is who He says He is and He’ll do what He says He’ll do. Consider the birds.