DEBRIEF, DAY 1
God’s up to a whole lot in Stephanie Bernotas’ heart.
If I had to sum it all up in one word, it would be FREEDOM.
Freedom from living in fear. Freedom from trying to please. Freedom from the past.
It is for freedom Christ has set us free.
I used to spell life “f-e-a-r.” I used to be scared of terrible things happening to me. Being kidnapped. Dying. Plane crashes. You name it. Fear controlled my life.
I used to have to please everyone around me. Make sure they liked me. Make sure my parents approved. Make sure God thought I was good enough to be called a Christian.
I used to let my identity be shaped by the way people had hurt me in the past. The things guys had told me. Never being pretty enough. Never being good enough.
But God. (I love those words.) Last summer, through some heartbreak, He held me in His arms and whispered, “Come away with me.” And here I am, on this crazy adventure with God, a honeymoon of sorts, complete with crazy adventures, adorable orphans, hard labor, messy community, back pain, diarrhea, and the occasional latte. God has used these past few months to wreck me, love on me, and help me begin to come into my identity as His daughter.
At first, I thought I couldn’t be Stephanie Bernotas anymore. I had to simply be Stephanie, daughter of God. Yes, I am His daughter, but I am also Stephanie Bernotas. My identity is in Him, and I want more of Him and less of me, but I am also exactly who He created me to be.
For so long I prayed, wanting to please the Lord, “rid me of myself, I belong to You.” I am on this journey of doing so. A journey of abandonment. A journey where I give up comfort and familiarity to see where the Lord takes me. This is good. But this is not where it ends.
God loves me. A whole lot. And I’m learning that He loves me for me. Think about it.
God loves that I love mocha coconut lattes.
God loves that I love lying in a field waiting for shooting stars.
God loves that I get really, really, excited about autumn.
God loves that I love cuddling with toddlers.
God loves that I really like feet.
God loves that I have a turned up nose.
God loves that I would give anything to run in a field of sunflowers.
God loves that I am Stephanie Bernotas.
I think He laughed today as we so desperately searched the city for Starbucks. “My girls are so silly.”
I used to think that God was some big old professor in the sky, giving me grades on how well I was doing.
He’s not. He’s my Daddy. And He loves me.
This is not to say we shouldn’t strive to be more like Christ. This is not to say we shouldn’t empty ourselves of personal satisfaction. That we shouldn’t rid ourselves of idols. That we shouldn’t want to please our Daddy. This is just to say, there is so much FREEDOM in Christ.
Freedom to live. To live as Stephanie Bernotas, sunflower and latte lover.
For you parents, would you not agree that it brings you joy when your children are happy? When they enjoy hanging out with each other? When they enjoy the gifts you give them, the meal you made, or the art project you did? I am starting to learn that God also loves when His kids enjoy each other and His creation. It brings Him joy and honor.
We can love sunflowers to the glory of God.
We can enjoy lattes to the glory of God.
We can come into the fullness of our identity, and glorify God.
It glorifies God when we come into who He has created us to be. When we stop trying to please, and just enjoy Him. When we walk in freedom. It is for freedom Christ has set us free.
I still believe we are called to defend the rights of the poor and the needy. To pour ourselves out for the afflicted. To not live in opulence. To strive to become more like Christ. I believe all that WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
But there is freedom in Christ. There is freedom to be who He has created us to be. He finds joy in us finding joy in Him and His creation.
It’s when we have that joy, that satisfaction, and that security in our identity, that a relationship with the Lord looks attractive. It’s fun! It’s freeing! It’s beautiful!
God is not a big professor with a ton of rules. Yes, there is totally right and wrong. Yes, there is suffering at times. Yes, we do not have freedom to abuse grace.
But we have freedom to be ourselves. And God loves Stephanie Bernotas, His daughter. And He loves you. And He loves that you love what you love.
So if you like lattes, invite friends out for coffee and share with them your joy in the Lord. If you like football, use it for the glory of God. Whether you eat, or drink, or enjoy… whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.
You are His son or daughter. He loves you and is proud of you. Enjoy who He has created you to be. Rid yourselves of selfishness, malice, anger, and all sorts of sin, but embrace the freedom to live and enjoy the Lord and His creation.
So Jesus, thank you for sunsets, the beach, mocha coconut lattes, sunflowers, starry nights, crickets chirping, african dances, children, the color orange, moose, forests, snow capped mountains, ministry, fireworks, new socks, pajama pants, orphans, mustard yellow kitchens, theology, turquoise coffee pots, and the freedom to love what you created me to love.
I’m free. You are my identity. And I’ll drink coffee to Your glory.
Below is an excerpt from John Piper’s article, “How to drink orange juice to the glory of God.”
When I asked two weeks ago, “Is the Doctrine of Total Depravity Biblical” my answer was, Yes. And one thing I meant was that all of our actions (apart from saving grace) are morally ruined. In other words, everything an unbeliever does is sinful and thus unacceptable to God.
I said that one of my reasons for believing this comes from 1 Corinthians 10:31. “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I asked, “Is it sin to disobey this Biblical commandment?” Yes.
So I draw this somber conclusion: It is sin to eat or drink or do anything NOT for the glory of God. In other words, sin is not just a list of harmful things (killing, stealing, etc.). Sin is leaving God out of account in the ordinary affairs of your life. Sin is anything you do that you don’t do for the glory of God.
But what do unbelievers do for the glory of God? Nothing. Therefore everything they do is sinful. That is what I mean by saying that, apart from saving grace, all we do is morally ruined.
Some of you then asked the practical question: Well, how do you “eat and drink” to the glory of God? Say, orange juice for breakfast?
One answer is found in 1 Timothy 4:3-5: “[Some] forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.”
Orange juice was “created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe the truth.” Therefore, unbelievers cannot use orange juice for the purpose God intended-namely, as an occasion for heartfelt gratitude to God from a truth heart of faith.
But believers can, and this is how they glorify God. Their drinking orange juice is “sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.” The word of God teaches us that the juice, and even our strength to drink it, is a free gift of God (1 Corinthians 4:7; 1 Peter 4:11). The prayer is our humble response of thanks from the heart. Believing this truth in the word, and offering thanks in prayer is one way we drink orange juice to the glory of God.
The other way is to drink lovingly. For example, don’t insist on the biggest helping. This is taught in the context of 1 Corinthians 10:33, “I try to please all men in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (RSV). “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Everything we do-even drinking orange juice-can be done with the intention and hope that it will be to the advantage of many that they may be saved.
Let us praise God that we have escaped by his grace from the total ruin of all our deeds. And let us do everything, whether we eat or drink, to the glory of our great God!
Seeking to saturate all of life with God,
Pastor John
Do I hear the sound of my daughter blossoming? Yup!!! Great talking with you today. Cyndy and I are rooting for you. Yea Steph!!! Yea team Cherished Flame!!! Yea Autumn!!!! Yea orphans of Romania who will have a chance to be loved and served by you all!!! Enjoy the 12 hour train trip to the orphanage Saturday… praying for you daily.
Love, Dad
I love that you are finding your freedom so fully in Christ. What a joy to read what you wroteand be able to relate to it.
You are a true blessing.
Love,
Marjorie K
You rock, Steph. So glad for what the Lord is doing in you and through you. Can’t wait to see you again, but I also hope you cherish every second that God is giving you on this journey.
I love you. Especially your upturned nose
This is fantastic insight and wisdom, Stephanie. I’ll drink a soy peppermint mocha with an extra shot of espresso to this 😉
Are those your own photos? If so, I want to know what kinds of textures you have!!!! I love them.
Dear Steph,
It seems we sent you off as a caterpillar, but we will be receiving a beautiful butterfly when you return from your World Race! What a wonderful thing to realize such freedom in Christ at your age — how exciting to think of how God will use His daughter for His glory (even when sipping a mocha coconut latte). I can identify with much that you said, especially about fear. But you have not allowed fear to keep you from doing God’s will, and I will always admire you for stepping out in faith to be a part of this World Race in spite of your fears. That’s really dying to self, and it has opened the door for the Lord to bring about this metamorphosis in your heart and mind — all for His glory, but also because He loves you so much! (And I believe He first gave that turned up nose to your Mom, and He saw that it was good, so He gave one to you as well!)
Thanks for taking the time to keep us updated and for blessing us with your honest words, insight and encouraging testimonies of God’s amazing love and grace. May He continue to encourage you and your team through our notes and prayers, as well as protect you and provide for you each and every day.
With love,
Angela Martine